you'll wish you never met me.

I just go an angry email from my ex about my little performance the other night, he called me "the worst person he ever dated" and that he "should've never gone out with your pathetic ass in the first place, you wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't mind fucked you" anddddddd all I said was...

"Ya. Ha ha. Who is this?"

To which he replied back saying, "You've got to be fucking kidding me? Who else! Did you already fuck 30 other guys to forget about me?" This email ended with me saying, "You are a loser, thanks for emailing me on my performance, you looked like a wanker, I looked great, if it bugs you so much. You know where to reach me!" And then I got a phone call! Him screaming, and telling me he's in bed with his ex, fucking him and he's so much better. Then I just laughed and said, "Man you really got to be kidding me. I didn't think you would actually call but goes to show how fucking douchey you are. Have fun fucking that guy whos fucking other people! Bye."

I am sorry but I always get the last word. He's such a douche. I hate him. It boggles my mind why he insists on keeping contact with me. He totally likes me still. TOTALLY.

thanks for nothing: the break up.

Well guys. I haven't posted in awhile, but all for good reasons. Who knows if anyone is reading this blog in it's entirety anyways? Well thats besides the point, and for the people who are reading it, I'll fill you in what happened in the past 10 days...

 So I did show up to Robbs house unannounced on the 29th and boy, was he pissed. I told him I was in the neighbourhood and that he should let me in, I wouldn't be there for long. He kept saying he was really busy, and it was a bad time for me to show up. I kept my cool, just kind of looked at him and smiled a little and said, "Right. Bad time. Gotcha" and walked away. It took me a 15 dollar cab to get there, and I was only there for like 5 minutes. Totally worth it though. He called me the next day and apologized, saying that his grandma was in the hospital, and that he didn't want to be with anyone. I consoled him and said thats fine. In reality though, thats bullshit because she isn't in the hospital I would come to know...

 The complete distance between us got longer every time I caught him in a lie, I didn't know what he was doing, but all I know is that he didn't want to break up with me. Why? I don't know. The final straw came when I went to the gay club with my friend again. This club is so fun. Well Robb blew me off that night because he said he was going to visit his grandma, so I went clubbing instead. It was such a blast, we got hit on a lot, but mostly by creepy bears whispering in our ears that they had there dicks pierced. EW. Now this is where it all blows up. As the song "Get Outta My Way" by Kylie Minogue pops on (my anthem) My friend pokes me and points to the other side of the room. Guess who it is? YEP. Robb. With who? His ex. The little fucker. At that moment in time, I felt sick to my stomach, I knew deep down something was happening, but to finally see it is a whole new punch in the gut.

 I asked my friend if I should do something. I felt embarrassed to be there and wanted to leave, but he told me that I had to make him look like a fool. I had to sit and think about if I should just leave it, and confront him later, but ultimately opted for humiliation. So while my jam was playing, I waltzed up behind them (keep in mind I was smashed) and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around. The smile on his face dropped and he froze. I basically stood there smiling at them both, and DEATH STARED the ex, I asked them if they were having a great time, they looked at each other, and I just rolled my eyes and walked away. Robb and his ex followed me to the bathroom, and Robb tried to explain. "No need!" I said, then his stupid fucking ex chimes in and I snapped. I told him to get the fuck out my space before I destroyed his pretty little face. He kept trying to reason, and I legit got up in his face and said, "Seriously. I don't care what you have to say, get the fuck out of my space or I'll beat your face in" Such violence. I don't know where it came from within me. The ex left, and Robb stood there trying to speak. I ended the conversation with this..

"Listen Robb, I always knew you and I would never last long, sad I know, but it's the truth. So really you standing here telling me a lie, on top of a million other lies, will not  make everything fine and dandy, like you thought it has over the past month. Gotta say, you have to be the biggest regret of my life."

And like that we were over. He emailed me yesterday with an apology, saying he feels like shit, and that the only reason he was hanging with his ex, and fucking him was because he was afraid that he loved me too much and it scared him that he never cared that much for another person before. K. Then WHY would you hurt the person you love most? Lmao. Wow. He must be retarded. Thank GOD this is all over. I was sad, but now its a relief. He looks like an idiot, and my job is done.

So... Hey boys. I'm single, and looking for a sensational fuck. No strings attached. You in?

 

cause you're stutterin aka the big fight.

 We had our first fight the other night, and it was pretty big. We had made plans to go to Toronto to view this art exhibit, but last minute he cancelled on me with a lame excuse, "I just have so much homework, last minute project I have to do." I know when he is lying and I was really looking forward to going out. I sat around for awhile doing homework, and thought if I should bother calling him because I KNEW he wasn't telling me the truth.

 I realized a little bit later I had a reason to call him, I needed to tell him to bring my sweater to school the next day, so I dialled and he picked up. All I heard in the background was people talking and I knew right then and there that he wasn't at home. He doesn't have caller i.d so this worked to my advantage. He said Hi, and I was just like, "Homework my ass." Then I hung up. He texted me right after saying, "WTF?"

I didn't respond back.

 He came to my house at like 12:00 am and I drove me back to his place. I pretty much told him I knew he lied to me what he did tonight, and I wanted to know what he did that was so secretive that he had to lie. He didn't really give out an answer, it was almost like he was trying to prep me for something bad. I just told him to be honest, and if he wasn't then we wouldn't be able to date. Thats when he told me he went out to dinner with his ex. Why? Because he said that he broke up with his boyfriend and needed someone to talk to. Lamest thing in my book. I was pretty upset, and started getting really rude and told him that he was a fucking prick for keeping something like that hidden. Seriously! That is so shady, I also told him that I had absolute no trust for him now. I don't. He managed to lose it all in a couple of hours.  All he kept saying was sorry, and that this only happened once.

I wouldn't be as upset if he hadn't lied to me, in fact I would say go for it, but he did and because he just sat there stuttering his way through a series of lies it made it all worse. Now I'm just worried that he won't be honest with me. We are "fine" now, but I feel a little awkward with him.