webcam sex with a dad... and his mom?!

So the weirdest thing EVER. Just happened to me. I got really horny, and felt like playfully camming with an older dad. No harm doing that. So I found an attractive one that was willing to cam and we went on Skype. Some camming experiences I've had have been really bizarre, and some guys have been straight up fucked. Like the guy I just cammed with.

 The conversation got rolling and he's like you gay?.... UM. YA. Then he told me he was married, which I found hot, then asked who's the lucky guy? What do I get in return? "You mean girl"..... OH. SO YOUR FAKE STRAIGHT? "No Bi"....Oh Okay. Keep jerking. Next thing you know what do I hear? A womans voice. I thought it must've been his wife, and he was saying that she sometimes participates in his webcam chats. I was like nah man, not interested in that. So he stops jerking. Then I hear a womans voice say, "Oh your naked?!" he's just like, YEP! She's telling him a story and all, while he's jerking... on camera with me! What!!!! I had to get out of the conversation, but then she left, and he's like, "Oh ya that's my mom, she doesn't care, but when she gets back in the room she is probably going to want to see your face and all, and get to know ya!" End call. Block. Delete.

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. THE. FUCK. Is that normal?! Who is this guy?! I'm just rattled.

ugh.

SO HOT.

thanks for nothing: the break up.

Well guys. I haven't posted in awhile, but all for good reasons. Who knows if anyone is reading this blog in it's entirety anyways? Well thats besides the point, and for the people who are reading it, I'll fill you in what happened in the past 10 days...

 So I did show up to Robbs house unannounced on the 29th and boy, was he pissed. I told him I was in the neighbourhood and that he should let me in, I wouldn't be there for long. He kept saying he was really busy, and it was a bad time for me to show up. I kept my cool, just kind of looked at him and smiled a little and said, "Right. Bad time. Gotcha" and walked away. It took me a 15 dollar cab to get there, and I was only there for like 5 minutes. Totally worth it though. He called me the next day and apologized, saying that his grandma was in the hospital, and that he didn't want to be with anyone. I consoled him and said thats fine. In reality though, thats bullshit because she isn't in the hospital I would come to know...

 The complete distance between us got longer every time I caught him in a lie, I didn't know what he was doing, but all I know is that he didn't want to break up with me. Why? I don't know. The final straw came when I went to the gay club with my friend again. This club is so fun. Well Robb blew me off that night because he said he was going to visit his grandma, so I went clubbing instead. It was such a blast, we got hit on a lot, but mostly by creepy bears whispering in our ears that they had there dicks pierced. EW. Now this is where it all blows up. As the song "Get Outta My Way" by Kylie Minogue pops on (my anthem) My friend pokes me and points to the other side of the room. Guess who it is? YEP. Robb. With who? His ex. The little fucker. At that moment in time, I felt sick to my stomach, I knew deep down something was happening, but to finally see it is a whole new punch in the gut.

 I asked my friend if I should do something. I felt embarrassed to be there and wanted to leave, but he told me that I had to make him look like a fool. I had to sit and think about if I should just leave it, and confront him later, but ultimately opted for humiliation. So while my jam was playing, I waltzed up behind them (keep in mind I was smashed) and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around. The smile on his face dropped and he froze. I basically stood there smiling at them both, and DEATH STARED the ex, I asked them if they were having a great time, they looked at each other, and I just rolled my eyes and walked away. Robb and his ex followed me to the bathroom, and Robb tried to explain. "No need!" I said, then his stupid fucking ex chimes in and I snapped. I told him to get the fuck out my space before I destroyed his pretty little face. He kept trying to reason, and I legit got up in his face and said, "Seriously. I don't care what you have to say, get the fuck out of my space or I'll beat your face in" Such violence. I don't know where it came from within me. The ex left, and Robb stood there trying to speak. I ended the conversation with this..

"Listen Robb, I always knew you and I would never last long, sad I know, but it's the truth. So really you standing here telling me a lie, on top of a million other lies, will not  make everything fine and dandy, like you thought it has over the past month. Gotta say, you have to be the biggest regret of my life."

And like that we were over. He emailed me yesterday with an apology, saying he feels like shit, and that the only reason he was hanging with his ex, and fucking him was because he was afraid that he loved me too much and it scared him that he never cared that much for another person before. K. Then WHY would you hurt the person you love most? Lmao. Wow. He must be retarded. Thank GOD this is all over. I was sad, but now its a relief. He looks like an idiot, and my job is done.

So... Hey boys. I'm single, and looking for a sensational fuck. No strings attached. You in?

 

sex. round 2.

It's official. I really like this guy. Really like as in love. Too soon? Not quite, It has been like 2 months now kind of of getting in the groove with this guy. We hung out, EVERYDAY this week. In my last post, I said he was making me dinner, and he did. It was romantic. On Thursday he drove me to school, and we ate lunch, afterwards we went to his house and made out some more. Friday we went out for dinner, that too was romantic, and then we made out. It was super hard because I KNOWWWW he wanted to fuck me so badly, but we made out and I think he thought I was gonna give it up, when I told him goodnight. Ha Ha. Sorry daddy but I'm not that easy.

 It's like the past few weeks never happened, he is so sweet now and caring. He may have said he didn't want to be in a relationship, but I think he is changing his views on that. Last night was amazing though. He brought me back to his place and thats when we had sex. I was really horny, so I felt like being slutty. He did moves on me that I have never really seen before and man, they were hot. I got to say, the sex is super hot. He was really going in hard. We were super loud. But let me make it clear, it was very romantic*

 Judging from the sex, I think something is there...

losing my virginity. hate that saying.

I'm just going to say it. I HAD SEX. Ew. Embarrassing, but i've never done it before and I still can't believe it happened, and that I was dumb enough to just give it up like that, but virginity is so taboo and who was I kidding?!

 So I said last post Mr. Gorgeous asked me to hang out, and I decided to because I finished this essay paper early (which nearly killed me BTW) and I was sitting around doing jack. So I called him up and asked if he wanted to do anything, he said he was glad I called. Ya whatever. So I didn't know what to do, but thankfully he offered to hang out at his place cause his roommate was gone for the weekend. I got on the bus and travelled across the city to get to his place, it took awhile and didn't know if it was worth it but I took a chance. When I got there it was like 9:00pm and I didn't want to go on a bus ever again, I found his place and knocked on his door, he answered the door and told me to come in, his place was nice. Not like super modern nice, but super hipster nice. I'll cut out the small talk but we went to the living room and just chilled and talked, and talked. I really thought it was going to be awkward, but it kinda wasn't? I felt comfortable around him so it wasn't really weird. After awhile we tried to decide on watching a movie, but it turned into a debate. We couldn't settle on one until he brought out Milk. Best movie ever. But super gay. I laughed and said sure.

Blah, Blah, Blah, we watched the movie, loved it as usual, when suddenly halfway through he randomly asks me if I have ever had a boyfriend. I said no. Then he asked if I had ever been with any boy. I said no again. He said that was cute. Then we kind of both went in at the same time and kissed. It wasn't long, just a nice kiss. Then we stopped and just sat there watching the movie, thats when we kinda just looked at each other and started going at it again. This time it was more of a serious make out. We were lying on top of each other and this was going on for a good 10 minutes. I guess you can say we were dry humping as well, cause it was all over the place. I got super hard, but I guess he felt it against his leg because he started stroking it underneath my jeans. This led to me taking his shirt off and him doing the same to me, he eventually took off his pants, and man. He had an extraordinary body, nice muscles, hairy, a teenage dream! I couldn't believe I was about to have sex, after countless amounts of porn, and wanting it, I WAS GETTING IT. So he sat down on the couch and I took off his underwear and started giving him head. Sucking a dick is weird. I don't know if I liked it or not. It probably feels better for the person getting it though! Ha Ha. Sucking his dick went on for awhile and then he asked if I was a bottom. I don't know, I was going to say I am though because I always thought I would be. Then he asked if I wanted to do anal. So I said sure.

Thats a story for another time though...
Ha ha.

close to sex.

I should've bit my tongue. Maybe I had good karma? Maybe after all my whining about not seeing gay boys someone finally answered my prayers! I don't know but today I had my first sexual experience with a guy. And boy. Was it a beautiful introduction.

It happened at school. Of ALL PLACES, IT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL. I have 2 classes in the performing arts wing and performing arts = tons of guys. Gay guys. So I got really bored in class and decided to peace to the bathroom, I took the elevator instead of the stairs for the first time and I am pretty happy with my decision. I walked in the elevator and there was this super hot guy standing in there. He was tall, defined build, plaid shirt, stubble beard, HOT. He asked me what floor I was I wanted to go on and so I told him. After an awkward floor down he asked me what program I was in. I told him Media Arts, and so I told him about it. It went all relatively quick and I was about to get off on my floor when he asked me for my phone number! What the hell?! No guy has ever. Ever. Asked me for my number. So I gave it too him. We then went separate ways.

My confidence was pretty high, I feel so average, and for him to ask me for my number was a great feeling. It meant I wasn't vomatrocious. While washing my hands, who walks in the bathroom? You betcha. Him. I smiled, he said it was a nice surprise. Then he asked me if anyone was in the bathroom, confused, I said no. Next thing you know he leans in for one. Whoa. What. I backed away and asked him what the hell he was doing. He kind of stared at me oddly, I was not going to ruin it so I just kissed him back. Then he grabs my hand and takes me to the bathroom stall, the big one, where he pushes me against the wall and asks me if I will give him a hand job. It was in a public washroom! Dirty! But I put my hand down his pants and started to rub. It was big. Not big, big, but nice. We kept kissing and I went in to give him head....when I bolted. Basically told him I wasn't down for bathroom sex. That is nasty. He understood and told me to call him...

Do I feel great? Yes. Do I regret it? Yes. Wait why? Cause I wish I finished what I started ;)
I think I love college now...

sex for an 18 year old boy.

Sex in the gay world seems like it has so many strings attached to it. Or at least in my town. Some guys here look for a quick fuck and afterwards wish they could have more from that person. There is a thing called a one night stand, but I think that's too complex for them. 

 Being 18 and not fully out has been hard on having a sex life. I want one. I am a boy. I think of that stuff, but I can't seem to get one. I have done the cam thing with guys numerous times, chats on msn, picture exchanges, gave numbers. That sort of thing, yet it all amounts to nothing. Mostly because I don't pursue anything after the internet. Call me old fashioned but I don't think I could meet people from online. For starters you don't know them, so I always think in the back of my mind that this person is going to brutally murder me and cut my body into pieces. Hey! I'm just being pre cautious! Not always, but still. Or what I find extremely odd is the nude site situation. Like dudesnude. Not going to lie, I did have an account. Whatever! I would talk to a lot of guys and they would always want to hook up in person. I couldn't bring myself to it. First of all. I am a virgin and I am most certainly not losing it to a 40 year old guy I met off the internet! And second, is it not strange meeting this person you have been talking to online and already know what they look like naked? Someone care to explain any stories in the comments? 

 Anyways. It also comes down to body type. I am average, I'm super tall. Not ripped at all. I feel like gay guys are super picky. Which sucks, but I have learnt to adapt to just about every body shape. I look at the personality more then the looks now. So that's that. I just want sex to come naturally with someone I love, or like. Not a hook up. Especially since virginity is such a taboo! Not saying I should have a parade thrown for me when I lose it, because it will probably suck. But I dream big.

Tell me some of your own stories below!

my story of being gay.

I've always known I was gay. Well, actually... That is a lie. But a weird story. I remember in pre school I used to always have make out sessions with this boy named Cody, we would pretend to be boyfriends to each other and hide from the teachers and kiss. No kids made fun of us though. It was like almost normal. But I realize that when you are that young, it's nothing. Just being a kid, not seeing it as a bad thing. After that boy left I shoved any form of sexuality aside. I just was a normal kid, I played Pokemon, loved the Power Rangers, and saturday morning cartoons. I did have this fling with a fat girl on my street, but I was forced into it. She hid me under a barbecue tarp and told me to kiss her and have her babies. Yes you read that right. Then she said our children can be these baby pigeons that were nested in her backyard. Let's just say that relationship didn't last long. That girl was a player! Hitting up every boy I hung out with. I thought for the longest time after that I liked girls. I liked seeing naked girls. I thought I was straight. Girls turned me on, but one day that kind of switched. Well not on a certain day, just over time.

 I had this cousin. Well he wasn't exactly a 1st cousin, but he was a cousin somewhere down the line. We had a sleepover one day, and he suggested in the middle of the night when his parents were asleep we run around naked. I was at this point 10 or 11. I didn't really want to but he forced me into it. I was a pushover as a kid. Well he got naked and so did I. We both had major boners. I didn't hardly know what that was at that point in time but it felt good. He came up behind me and breathed on my neck a little and I thought we were going to kiss before I put my pants on. I thought it was wrong. He may not be related-related to me but we were close. We did this thing again a couple years later when we were like 12 again. Same thing happened. After this I knew something was different about me.

 Growing up is hard when you are in elementary school. It sucks. It is like a huge battlefield, and you have to get as many friends or you are going to be a loser for the rest of your life. It was also the grounds of the worse homophobia ever. I had a really high voice as a kid, and up until puberty. Not a girly voice, but a tone to it. A gay tone? Not a terrible one but it slight edge to it. Boys used to call me girly, but they still were my friend. It wasn't till grade 7 when people started calling me, "Homo" or "Fag" and didn't want to even know me. I had a lot of friends, but I knew some of they were embarrassed to hang out with a guy who got called those words. I tried so hard not to act the way I am, but it didn't stop the older boys from calling me names. They made sure everyday to let me know how they felt.

 Grade 7 was when I realized, I must be gay. But I was so ashamed. Some of my good friends told me that they hate gay people and wish they could put them on an island where they can burn. I knew I couldn't ever come out after this. Everyone hated gay people. Everyone. I remember gay jokes became so bad in elementary schools to everyone nobody wore their G.A.P sweaters. Why? Cause people said it meant Gay and Proud. I know I didn't. It was a nice sweater too. I remember sitting in the computer lab as my friend talked about how much he hates gays. I was thinking at that time that I just wish everyone knew I was, but I banished the thought. I couldn't believe I thought that, I would be subjected to so many jokes. So I said I would totally go all through life faking it, getting a girlfriend, getting married, kids. All of it. I thought at that moment, how hard could it be? Well it sounded better then the bullying. Which by this point was so bad I contemplated suicide. I look back at my journals and realize how sad I was and nobody was there to help me. Cause I thought everyone hated gays. I remember being 13 years old and crying in my room screaming at god wondering why he made me this way. Why couldn't he make me like other boys? Why couldn't I be STRAIGHT?! I hated him for making me this way, so I stopped believing in him. One day I was severely bullied, I quit the school play cause I was afraid of them making fun of me on stage. I came home crying, wishing those boys were dead. Or myself. I held a razor to my wrist, then did a cut. I bled everywhere, I couldn't believe I almost tried to take my life. I went through a terrible mental state but after those boys graduated, I felt free from it all. I was now the ruler of the elementary school. I was in grade 8, and we owned the place.

Grade 8 was when I tried to date girls, I had no feelings for them. This was when I realized my little plan of always faking it, would be tough. I still got made fun of by my peers, but it wasn't the kind bullying I suffered throughout grade 7. Boys would call me a fag, but because I was so close with all the girls everywhere, they said I was trying to steal their girlfriends. I never understood how that worked out, but it went on till high school.  When grade 9 came I was still very deep in the closet. I tried to like this girl but I was too shy to talk to her in person. I always was attracted to girls, but when I had to talk to them in person, I couldn't. I was afraid they would notice how gay I was. It was by grade 11 when I realized I couldn't go on any longer, I wanted people to know. The gay jokes had gotten old and I was just immune to it all. I was jealous of the out kids in my school, there wasn't a lot but there was some. When grade 12 came I was ready to get out of this closet. Grade 12 was this year. I knew I was gay, I was deep down proud of myself, and didn't keep my personality hidden. I have never been the really gay type to like walk like a girl, talk like one, so people always had this confusion about me, but it was at this point when people were like JUST ADMIT IT ALREADY! I was always talking to guys on the internet, doing naughty things, and I wanted a boyfriend. I had this confidence I had never had, because I found my true friends. Ones that accept anyone.

In the past 6 months I have come out to 2 of my best friends. I was drunk, I wanted to tell them in person at this party, but I couldn't muster up enough courage. So I texted them. Both of them didn't care, they were happy. I'm happy. I still got a lot of people to tell and I don't know when that is going to happen, but if they ever ask, I'll happily admit it. I recently have thought that if people assume I'm gay or know it, then why do I have to confirm it? Let them give me a label. I'm fine with my sexuality. And I am going to college soon, I can reinvent myself. I can be that gay boy, and not care. I can finally say I'm happy being me for the first time in my life, and I'm loving it.