cancer + supposed cheater.

So today I discovered my nana has cancer. Brain cancer. She had lung cancer earlier this year, and by summer she was in remission, but it's come back, and this time it's bad. She either has 2 months or a year to live. What the shit is that? Those odds are fucking awful. I hate thinking that she has an expiry date on her now. I told Robb and he consoled me, but it didn't feel legitimate. I am beginning to feel like us dating was a bad thing because I feel real hurt right now, and he is at a friends party.

 I'm going to try not to think of my nana right now, it just hurts to think about. We will talk about Robb. After our fight about him going out to dinner with his ex and not telling me, we tried to go on thinking it was normal again. I think we tried to cover it all up by having a lot of sex. The sex felt good at the time, but when it was over it felt like a one night stand, like it meant nothing. I used to love sucking his dick, but now it's become so tedious, the other night he got upset with me because I wouldn't swallow his load, he said that he thought we were cool, I just told him that he could just shoot it on my face then. His best friend, Meg, and I hung out last night, I have grown close to her and I asked her if she thinks that Robb would cheat on me. She said she doesn't know. I'm being honest here I am thinking he is. Because he is still acting all suspicious, and not returning calls. I don't understand why he would want to hurt me, I'd rather know the truth.

 Well I just got a text saying I am going to the gay club tonight :| My friend found a fake i.d. so I guess I am going with him. I need to get drunk and get my mind off things. Bye.