what is stopping me!

My whole summer goes like this. Sleep in, Party, Work, Think of when to come out to friends, What so say when coming out to friends, How will I EVER tell my family. Pretty much that. Coming out has been on my mind everyday for the past year, but the most I have ever thought of it has been this summer since coming out to my 2 best friends. I don't know why I can't just tell everyone, cause they all have their doubts, but I just can't seem to bring it up!

 There has been SOOO many perfect moments to just say it. Just to blurt it out there and get it over with. But I keep repeating, give it time, say it in the next 10 minutes. Of course nothing ever happens. Nothing at all. I just want to tell my sister! Me and her are close, and I know she won't care, but like at the same time it opens the door to the family part of coming out, and I don't feel ready for that. At all. My family is a tight core group, we have a time when we are all together. We are very loud and funny. I feel like if I was to come out, it would actually be the elephant in the room. Everyone would look at me and only see... gay. 

 But as for my friends. It is going to happen soon. I know they won't care about it, but I feel it deep down that I'm just going to say it soon..

Very soon...